Turns out, taking care of a baby is a buttload of work. Multiple buttloads, even. It is currently 10am, and I have not had a chance to brush my teeth yet. I’m typing this one-handed, with a baby on my boob.
We almost have a two-month old. August is awesome. His smiles and screams are about 1:1. Ish. That’s a pretty nice ratio. I get him out of the house pretty often. There is usually some kind of bodily fluid of his on me. He sleeps through the night. Praise Ke$ha, that part rules.
She’s an angel.
Things are finally settling down a tad, so I’m making the commitment. I’m back to blogging. You can look forward to precious gems like..
The Endless List of Shit You Can Try When Breastfeeding Is Being a Rude Whore.
The Embarrassingly Late Nursery Reveal.
I Bought All The Baby Things. Here’s a Shorter List For You.
How To Get Your Loud Ass Child to Go the Hell to Sleep.
Capitalizing Titles Confuses Me.
So I Didn’t Give Birth to A 90lb Baby. Now What?
My Beer and Me: A Great Love, Reunited.
And many more family favorites.
All that in due time. Until then, I leave you with the best apology I can think of after so much time away: Public humiliation.
One time, I did a whole lot of white-girl-dancing in a Gym Class Heroes video about Myspace. In my defense, this was before I started drinking.
This post was brought to you by when I was cast as a “candy raver”.
OK, that is a stellar line up! Looking forward to! So jealous you’ve been reunited with beer… SO JEALOUS
Be jealous. It’s even sweeter than you remember. Also, good luck!
Saw what? He sleeps through the night already? Do you know how %$#@*n lucky you are?? Super jealous. Also, I think it’s only right that you give your fans periodic peeks at your baby. Just sayin’.
SO DEMANDING! But I am super aware of how lucky our sleep situation is. He sleeps hard, too. Most noises don’t wake him until it’s morning. I’m terrified of when he starts teething, though. I hope it doesn’t yank the sweet slumber from my arms.
No shit right? All this shit IS time consuming. This lineup is leaving me with a sense of anticipation so I now have to follow you. After having babies, my reunion with booze was one of the most poignant moments of my life. Well – not as poignant as having the kids – but a close third or something.
I took a picture of my first beer post baby. If you were to accuse me of making it the background on my phone for a little while, I would not argue very strongly.